


Man and Knife

by beedekka



Category: The Expendables (Movies)
Genre: Banter, Coming In Pants, Fit older guys, Knifeplay, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-22
Updated: 2013-12-22
Packaged: 2018-01-05 12:28:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1093878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beedekka/pseuds/beedekka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They're supposed to be heading out on a recon mission, but getting their gear together turns out to be a distracting task for Barney and Lee.</p><p>Title from Lee's line to some bad guys in the second film: (disguised as a priest) "I now pronounce you man and knife."</p><p>Expendables <3</p>
            </blockquote>





	Man and Knife

**Author's Note:**

  * For [a_q](https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_q/gifts).



> Happy Yuletide! I hope you enjoy this yuleporny fic :)

Barney stretched his legs out in the pilot seat and settled back to look over the map of their destination one last time.  As soon as Lee arrived they were taking off to pull a recon job on the site of their next mission, in preparation for bringing the rest of the Expendables along.  He’d been ready to go for the last ten minutes but Lee was being conspicuous by his absence, and Barney briefly contemplated lighting up a cigar while he waited. That was something he mainly reserved as an after-mission indulgence though, and he didn’t think the other man would be _much_ longer; while Lee sometimes played fast and loose with time when it wasn’t crucial, he wouldn’t keep people waiting to the point of pissing them off. 

Sure enough, a second later Barney’s ears picked up the distinctive sound of the ‘hair-dryer’ approaching the hangar, followed by cheerful whistling as Lee cut the engine and rolled the bike in around the side of Barney’s truck.

“Good of you to make it!” Barney called over his shoulder.  “That mosquito break down on the way over here or somethin’?”

“You just wait – this bike’ll be running long after your American classics are in pieces for scrap,” Lee called back.  “It’s a finely tuned, exquisitely styled, and intensely powerful machine, much like its owner…”

“Yeah, is it as modest, too?”  Barney smiled to himself as he folded the map away.  Their shared sense of humour was one of the things that had attracted him to Lee in the first place, and he got a real kick out of their back-and-forth bickering and teasing.  Their job wasn’t easy, and perhaps it was the craziest of crazy ideas to have your lover on the same team, but it actually seemed to keep them both sharp and sane so Barney ran with it. 

He got up as he heard Lee’s feet on the stairs and when he turned around to see him stepping into the plane, Barney didn’t know whether he wanted to laugh out loud or just stand there open-mouthed.  “Jeez, what the hell are you wearing?”

“What do you mean, what am I wearing?” Lee asked, nonplussed.  “I’m wearing my ‘I’m a conservationist’ gear: we’re the Global Wildlife Conservancy for this one, right?”

“Yeah, but you look like you just sprinted through the Outdoor Store in a blindfold…  You’ve got, like, three different types of camo on!”

Lee shrugged, dropping his bag down.  “I heard the Arctic-desert-rainforest is a popular destination at this time of year.”

“Well, too bad we’re not going there then,” Barney told him.  “Seriously, we’re trying to look inconspicuous, not clash with the natural landscape of three different continents.”

“So maybe I went a little overboard…”

“A little?  Why don’t you just put on those chinos you always wear?  They look the part.  Then put the bomber jacket on over your normal gear, and the fake ID card round your neck: fuckin’ done and done.”

“I couldn’t find my jacket,” Lee replied, retrieving his regular pants from his bag and unbuckling his belt to swap out the camo.

“That’s ‘cause I’ve got it.”  Barney leant over to a box of kit by the doorway to the cockpit and pulled out a jacket embroidered with the Expendables’ ‘Global Wildlife Conservancy’ logo on the back.  “Here, catch!”  He tossed it over, aiming well to Lee’s left on purpose; with his camo pants halfway down around his legs, Lee nearly fell on his face reaching to snag it out of the air.

“You twat.”

“I was hoping you’d miss and have to bend down for it.”

“Any excuse to check out my arse…”

“That’s right.”

“And what were _you_ doing with my jacket, anyway?” Lee asked.

“You fuckin’ left it here last time, like everything that’s yours!  I got no space anymore because you come here and ‘forget’ things behind.”

“Oh here we go…”

“It’s no joke,” Barney started, deadpan.  “I look up, lying on the cot at night, and there’s your fancy underpants hanging off the lightbulb.  How’s a man supposed to sleep?”

“Wank to ‘em,” Lee answered, holding the jacket up in front of him and inspecting a tear on the sleeve – evidence of the almighty fight they’d got themselves caught up in when he’d last had it on.

Barney shook his head and chuckled.  “You’re the limit, you know that?”

“And you love it.”  Lee put the jacket on the bench and started unlacing his boots to get the camo pants fully off.  His voice was muffled by leaning over as he carried on: “I’ve never left my underwear behind.  You _wish_ I did.”

“What, so I can do your washing?  Yeah, thanks.”  Barney watched as Lee toed off his remaining boot, and his gaze zeroed in like lightning as Lee carefully slid his pants down over the knife strapped onto the outside of his lower leg, pointing towards his ankle.  Even though Barney knew that Lee always carried one there, his throat tightened at the sight of the silver blade up against his firm skin.  It must have been a new one, because he didn’t recognise the hilt on it; it looked custom, huge…

“…certainly never swung it off the chandeliers.”

“What?”  Barney looked up again, and Lee was regarding him with a mischievous glint in his eye.

“I said, I don’t have a habit of leaving my fancy pants swinging off your interior décor.  Something distracting you?”  He straightened up, giving Barney a full view of his muscular lower half, now naked aside from the knife in its sheath and his tight white underwear.  “All this talk of my pants, and wanking off, and bending over…  Is there something on your filthy mind?”

Barney swallowed, trying to stop his eyes from wandering back down to the thick hilt of the knife beside Lee’s calf.  “Nope.  And we gotta get ready and get out of here, Lee.  Our window for landing the bird at the other end is getting smaller.”

“Really?  That’s a shame, because it looks like we could easily find something to spend some time on here...” 

Lee was suddenly giving him a feral grin that every-bit matched the mischievous look in his eyes, and Barney knew that bringing them back to the mission in hand was probably a lost cause now he’d accidentally drawn Lee’s attention to the effect that displaying his body – and its adornments – was apparently having on him.  He silently berated himself.  Of course he didn’t have to be covert about looking at his own partner; he could walk right up to Lee and stick his tongue down his throat if he wanted, but they were starting to get behind on their schedule and there really wasn’t a lot of time left to fuck around right _then_.    

“Come on, are you gonna put those on or not?” Barney tried again, indicating the chinos that Lee had previously pulled out of his bag.

“Hmm, I don’t think they’re going to sit right, now, Barn.”

“Why not?” Barney asked without thinking.

Lee smiled again and rubbed his hand casually over the front of his underwear, drawing his partner’s attention to the semi that was swelling them out.

“Jesus, Lee.  You’re telling me I’m the filthy one?  Just think of the cold place we’re going to and get your pants on!” 

Lee was still smiling and even Barney had to admit that the exasperated tone he’d attempted to employ in his last command was somewhat undermined by his total failure to stop his gaze flicking between the sheathed knife and Lee’s hand, now nonchalantly massaging his cock to full hardness in front of him.  It probably wasn’t any further help that Barney could also feel his tongue automatically rippling behind his lips, the movement of his mouth giving away exactly where his mind had gone while he was staring.

“If you want us to leave fast, then I suggest you come over here,” Lee’s voice was low and firm, “and suck my cock.”

The rational half of Barney’s inner dialogue was telling him to look at his watch and make a time calculation before moving, but the impulsive, fuck-it-all side had become firmly preoccupied with the sight of Lee’s fingers working his hard-on through the thin material of his underwear, and by imagining those same fingers stroking over the handle of that knife before caressing the blade and its pin-prick tip.  They had time for this… _maybe_. 

Barney took the few paces up the plane to get to Lee, but didn’t drop straight to his knees in front of him as invited.  “Nice boys kiss first,” he told him.

“Do you think I’m a nice boy?”  Lee brought one hand up and laid it heavily on Barney’s shoulder, making as if he was about to push him down onto his knees anyway.  “Do you?” Lee repeated, quieter this time.  Barney held himself still against the pressure on his shoulder, even though Lee’s question had sparked a sharp tingle of arousal in the pit of his stomach that could easily have radiated out into a shiver.  This was exactly how he liked it – when Lee’s attitude was belligerent, teasing, and tough.  Lee knew it, too; he played this role out perfectly every time.

“I’m not hearing an answer,” Lee spoke again, barely whispering now.  “Do nice boys kiss like _this_?”

And then his tongue was in Barney’s mouth, the hand on his shoulder sliding to his neck and pulling him closer, kissing rough and deep.  Barney growled into it, feeling his own cock starting to press up against his fly as their physical contact got serious.  Lee was pushing his hips forward to grind on him, and Barney could tell that he’d noticed just how fast the kiss had got him hard when Lee suddenly grinned against his lips and pulled back.  Barney watched him look down at the growing bulge in his pants, and he couldn’t stifle a gasp when Lee brought his other hand in to cup and squeeze it. 

“Liking that, are you?” Lee asked. 

It didn’t need an answer, and Barney didn’t give one… not verbally at least, but the way his fly was straining and his hips were pushing forward towards Lee’s palm was probably telling him something. 

“And don’t think I didn’t fucking see you looking at _this_ ,” Lee added.  In one smooth, split-second movement, the hand that Barney swore he could still feel on the back of his neck was somehow right in front of him with the knife in it.  He knew that Lee had crouched and straightened, but his eyes hadn’t followed the move, merely ending up mesmerised by the glint coming off the blade as Lee brought it to rest warm and flat on his abdomen.  The black cotton of Barney’s t-shirt barred the knife from his skin, but his muscles were already tensing like the metal was searing hot, and his cock jumped where Lee’s other hand was back cupping it.

“So have I been nice enough for you, yet?  Are you going to get on your knees for me _now?_ ”

When they played this game Lee asked a lot of questions, but the answers generally went unspoken because they were seldom ever ‘no’.  Of course Barney was getting down on his knees, reaching to free Lee’s hard cock from his underwear.  Lee inhaled sharply when he took it into his mouth, and Barney went to work without ceremony, years of practice meaning that he knew just how his lover liked this and just how to get him flustered fast.  He worked him with his fingers as he sucked, teasing and stroking around his balls until Lee pulled back fast and Barney watched him take a second to compose himself.

“Before you finish me,” Lee growled, “I want to see you please my other lover.”

Barney swallowed in anticipation, waiting for Lee to bring the knife back into play.  It had sat idle in his grip while Barney was blowing him, but now Lee spun it out with a flourish, giving him a full view of the gleaming blade and the thick, heavy hilt as it turned.  When he stopped the spin, it was the handle that was facing Barney, with Lee expertly gripping the blade around just right so he didn’t touch the edge.  Barney watched the knife, mesmerised again like it was a hypnotist’s chain, as Lee brought it to hover within an inch of his mouth. 

“Now close your eyes,” Lee instructed him, and Barney obeyed.  Then he felt the butt of the knife touch up against his cheek, caressing his face before slipping down to drag across his lips.  The metal end – rounded and slightly bigger than the wooden shaft of the handle – was warm on his skin.  It was heated from Lee’s hand, and Barney could smell the faint hint of his sweat, mixed with the oil he used to polish it.  It smelled like _him_ , and Barney knew that it would be there in the taste too, along with the hard metallic note that made it a confusing and familiar blend of Lee and… something he didn’t know how to describe, exactly.  The knife itself was a symbol of Lee’s skill – his competence and what made him a unique asset, but that wasn’t what turned Barney on about it.  It was more about what Lee could do with the weapon when they were together like this; how he could make Barney _feel_ using the combination of their bodies and that blade.

Lee was toying with the butt of the knife against his lips, and Barney wanted to open them and suck it in just like he’d been sucking Lee’s cock.  Apparently Lee could read his desire.  “You want this?” he asked, voice low and obviously aroused himself.  “Show me.”

Barney tentatively opened his mouth and waited, his tongue tingling with the anticipation.  He nearly exclaimed in surprise when he felt Lee’s fingers slide in instead.  “Easy,” Lee cautioned, stilling his hand straight away.  “Just make ‘em wet for me.”  Barney did, and when Lee withdrew them, he realised from the sound that started up that he was stroking himself.  “Now,” Lee continued, “get ready to suck it like you mean it.”  Then the butt of the knife was at his lips again and Barney let Lee rest it heavily on his tongue.  A second later, he inhaled deeply and sucked it in, licking and swirling around the hilt every bit as carefully as if it was still Lee’s cock.

“That’s it, yeah,” Lee told him.  “Keep your eyes closed and really taste it.”

Barney could hear the slick sound of Lee jerking himself faster, and it made his own cock twitch as he realised it was the sight of him doing this that was getting Lee off so quickly.  He redoubled his attention towards the knife, really putting on a show for his lover and humming in satisfaction as he felt Lee’s so-far firm grip on the knife start to shake and waver, giving him more of the weight of the weapon on his tongue.  Lee’s breathing sounded erratic, and a moment later Barney felt him move to draw the knife away, apparently unwilling to keep it there when he couldn’t hold it steady.  Barney let it slip out of his mouth, and suddenly Lee’s cock was there again instead.  “Nearly gonna come,” Lee warned him, and Barney sucked him in hard, barely getting the chance to work him at all before Lee was swearing and spilling all over his tongue.

Barney swallowed and opened his eyes, and the sight of Lee breathless and spent above him was enticing enough to have him up on his feet and bringing their bodies together, running his hands over Lee’s hips until his lover had his breath back and the mischievous glint had reappeared in his eyes.  “Ready for round two?” Lee asked.

“We’re gonna be really fuckin’ late for that landing slot now…”

“Tell ‘em we had to go over some extra thorough pre-flight checks.  Hey, what’s the equivalent of the Mile High Club if you don’t even get out of the hangar?”

Barney frowned.  “This is really just the ‘fucking in the place where I actually live club’.  And we’ve already joined that one _a lot_.”

Lee laughed and Barney slid his hands playfully around his chest, snaking under his over-shirt to feel his muscles through his camo tee. 

“Careful,” Lee cautioned him.  “There’s more blades in there.  Watch yourself.” 

“Oh yeah?” Barney replied, hands moving more systematically as his fingers searched for the hidden holsters around the sides of Lee’s ribcage.  Lee might have meant his words as a warning, but to Barney it was an attraction.  He found what he was looking for with his right hand and slipped his fingers around the smooth grip of a throwing knife, fingertips exploring it as he leant in to kiss Lee again.  He wasn’t going to take it out of the sheath – that was Lee’s department – but stroking and circling it while they kissed sent a frisson of excitement through his nerves that almost made it feel as though he was touching himself like that.  After a moment the effect was strong enough for Lee to notice how riled up he was getting and take the hint to slip his own hand down, twisting the button at the top of Barney’s fly open and pushing roughly into the tight space created by the half-closed zipper and Barney’s achingly hard cock.

Lee got his fingers around it and began to stroke in time with Barney’s pattern over the knife grip, echoing his movements and occasionally trying to tempt him into speeding up.  It was a compelling combination of touching and being touched, and it wasn’t long before Barney had to break the kiss altogether in order to breathe enough to control the waves of heat building up inside him. 

“Oh shit…” Barney murmured.  “If you keep on doin’ that much longer I’m gonna fuckin’ come in my pants.”  Eyes closed, he couldn’t see it, but he _knew_ that Lee was smirking.  If he had an opportunity to reduce Barney to a shaking mess, he would take it, every fucking time.

As if on cue Lee’s rhythm sped up again, outpacing Barney’s faltering hand on the knife until he let go of the metal entirely and just grabbed at the side of Lee’s chest, hips starting to skitter.  Then Barney felt the lightest press of something hot and flat against the side of his neck.  His eyes flew open, and the realisation that Lee must have the other knife held there overwhelmed him as intensely as the burst of pleasure it triggered off across every nerve and sinew in his body.  Suddenly he couldn’t breathe at all, and then he was coming hard under Lee’s hand, spilling through his fingers and groaning loud enough to make Lee grin his approval.  A tiny glint in Barney’s peripheral vision showed him Lee was holding the knife blade off his neck again while he waited for him to calm down and come back to himself, and Barney swallowed hard and tried to catch his breath.   

He could feel the front of his pants was wet with come, and Lee’s hand inside them was smearing it around his still rigid cock, setting off little aftershocks of pleasure each time he slid over the sensitive head; everything was _just this side_ of tipping over into discomfort.

“Still hard,” Lee whispered.  “Is that a compliment or a sign I need to put more effort in?”

Barney opened his mouth to say, ‘not for long’ and, ‘that was plenty of effort’, but the words didn’t have a chance to get out before Lee’s grip on him had tightened up and his wrist started moving again, taking on a rough rhythm that was definitely skirting along the muddled edge between reignited pleasure and over-sensitive pain.  Barney was also hyper aware that Lee’s knife-hand had disappeared somewhere behind his back now; where exactly, he didn’t know, and the thrill of that danger and uncertainty was feeding his fresh arousal like gasoline.

“Oh god,” Barney groaned out as the friction from the wet fabric and the sticky heat of Lee’s palm created competing sensations that really tested his concentration and made him waver between the idea of pulling away or thrusting into it. 

Lee was certainly encouraging the latter.  “Feel good?” he whispered, curling his fingers into a firm circle around Barney’s cock.  “How about this?”  Barney felt the sudden hard press of the knife handle between his shoulder blades and guessed Lee had it pointing down his spine; it sent a shiver through him, somehow cold and hot at the same time, and he pressed back, just able to make out the feel of Lee’s fingers partway down the flat of the knife.  He was cushioning the blade, and Barney wondered what _he_ could feel…  Would Lee let the edge nick _him_ while he was doing this?  Was that risk part of the attraction?

The thought sent another wave of heat over his skin, and the aftershocks Lee had been stroking him through a moment ago had retreated and blurred into a delicious burn at the back of his balls.  He was properly, definitely hard in Lee’s hand; he half couldn’t believe it, but apparently his body was really on board with a second go.  The familiar urge was starting to tug at him again with every swirl and squeeze Lee was making, and when he focused in on that feeling it began to get sharper, stronger and more insistent.

“Come on, that’s it…” Lee murmured.  Barney’s breathing was starting to break up again as he was getting closer, and his partner wasn’t missing the sign, leaning in and growling, “Fuck yeah, come on and double down for me, spend everything you…”

And before Lee could even finish, Barney was doing exactly that, hips jerking forward and cock pulsing erratically as he came again.  “Fuck yeah,” Lee repeated, stilling his hand this time and letting Barney lean heavily into him.  Then he slid it out and began to wipe his fingers, quite carefully and deliberately, down Barney’s thigh.

Barney pulled back and watched him do it, catching his breath while Lee cleaned off his palm on the denim.  Then he looked at the obscene damp patch currently spreading out across the fly of the jeans.  “Well, I guess _these_ fuckin’ pants aren’t going with us to help save the whales now,” he commented ruefully.  “And I’m blaming you for that entirely, just so you know.”

Lee gave him what Barney thought must be his most angelic, ‘who, me?’ face, before going over to the pile of boots and clothes he’d discarded earlier.  “You’re going to need a new pair for the mission, then,” he observed, reaching down.  When he straightened up again, he had his rejected rainforest-camo pants in his hand.  “I’ve got some here I’m not using…  Catch!”

He tossed the pants and Barney automatically grabbed for them, eyeing them with comical distaste.  “You’ve gotta be kidding me!”

“Chop chop, get ‘em on.  Aren’t we terribly late already?”

“I’m blaming you entirely for _that_ as well.”

“Yeah, yeah.”  Lee was replacing the knife in its position beside his calf as he spoke, and Barney’s eyes followed it until Lee had finally got the chinos over it and the bottom of the sheath tucked safely down his boot.  Then he turned away and smiled, even as he had to wash up and change into the stupid gaudy camo-pants.  It was reassuring to know the knives were there.  Reassuring and, if he was honest, exciting at the same time. Pretty much exactly how he felt about having Lee around in general…

“Hey, are we getting out of here or what?” Lee asked him.

“Yeah, we’re going,” Barney answered.  “We’re good.”

 

_-fin._


End file.
